Dear Journal,
It's funny how life changes and lead you sometime. Life hasn't been what I imagine since I found out that my good friend is dating someone else. I have been in a very dark place in my life and I didn't want to live anymore. The thoughts and feeling still there and I can't stop thinking about her. There are many things that I wish that I do this or that. I feel so helpless that I can't do anything that she is with someone she loves or not?
I realized that I love her very much and I have always care for her as my best friend. Through times, our friendship grow as well as my feelings for her. She makes me realize the person who I am. She makes me feel some comfortable around her that I can share anything with her without holding back.
Few weeks ago, I had to be brave and told her how I feel about her. I thought it might hurt our friendship for sharing my feelings for her. Again, I was very comfortable sharing and chatting with you. We had an amazing 1.5 hour conversation with each other. Even thought it was a phone conversation, I can felt that she was next to me. I was so happy for her that she have found happiness once again but I was hurting so bad inside but didn't want her to know that I felt sad. I couldn't had my feelings after our conversation. I cried and cried. I still hope that I can be with her one day. It's rare to find someone that you feel so comfortable with and love her unconditionally. I am not sure if it will ever happen but I did tell her that I will wait for her. I waited 14 years so why not why for rest of my life.
