We will meet again...

Dear Journal,

It's funny how life changes and lead you sometime. Life hasn't been what I imagine since I found out that my good friend is dating someone else. I have been in a very dark place in my life and I didn't want to live anymore. The thoughts and feeling still there and I can't stop thinking about her. There are many things that I wish that I do this or that. I feel so helpless that I can't do anything that she is with someone she loves or not?

I realized that I love her very much and I have always care for her as my best friend. Through times, our friendship grow as well as my feelings for her. She makes me realize the person who I am. She makes me feel some comfortable around her that I can share anything with her without holding back.

Few weeks ago, I had to be brave and told her how I feel about her. I thought it might hurt our friendship for sharing my feelings for her. Again, I was very comfortable sharing and chatting with you. We had an amazing 1.5 hour conversation with each other. Even thought it was a phone conversation, I can felt that she was next to me. I was so happy for her that she have found happiness once again but I was hurting so bad inside but didn't want her to know that I felt sad. I couldn't had my feelings after our conversation. I cried and cried. I still hope that I can be with her one day. It's rare to find someone that you feel so comfortable with and love her unconditionally. I am not sure if it will ever happen but I did tell her that I will wait for her. I waited 14 years so why not why for rest of my life.

Just A Kiss

I heard this song tonight when I came home "Just A Kiss" by Lady Antebellum. Immediately, I thought about her and wonder what she is doing tonight? I want to hold her in my arms.

Lying here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings
When it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile
...
I never open up to anyone
So hard to hold back
When I'm holding you in my arms

We don't need to rush this
Let's just take it slow

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time
it'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real
No it's never felt so right

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

Chorus
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

Let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight
With a kiss goodnight
A kiss goodnight

Dear My Good Friend,

This is my first time blogging and I named my blog MyLifeJournal. I don't know who will read this blog but I want to get my feelings on a blog so that one day that I can remember what happen in my life. The reason why I decided to blog because of this special friend in my life. We have been friends for over 12 years. Recently, we re-connected once again and after 2 short months hanging out together. I started to have feelings for her which something I didn't expect but I found myself thinking about her daily or should I say every minute or even every second. I want to tell her but I was afraid that I might scare her away because I don't ruin our friendship.

I asked myself what happen and how did I started to have feelings for her. The time that we spent together, I was so comfortable around her and able to share everything with her without holding back. I love the way she smile and wish I can witness that daily. I want it to tell her that I like her but I don't know how she feels about me. I have hinted to her couple times that I like her. Perhaps, I need to brave and share with her how I feel about her.

Her favorite flower is Cherry Blossom and I visit a park that have Cherry Blossom (which the picture that I posted on top). I hope that I will get an opportunity to take her this park to show her the Cherry Blossom tress. She is as beautiful as the Cherry Blossom Trees. I am not sure she will ever read this blog but I hope I can continue to write down my thoughts in this blog.

Should I tell my friend that I like her???